Some viewers to my personal lj might remember when I talked about finding out my childhood friend committed suicide. It really really shook me more then I wanted to admit to anyone even myself. Finally after a few months I got out what I wanted to say. Here it is. Im not gonna lie and cried horribly while writing this. This is for Tara.

Goodbye
I thought about seeing you
I want to say goodbye
but when I think about it
it makes me want to cry
I thought of all the times
we would spend together
we were young and innocent
those days should last forever
but time interfers
and I moved away
Ill never forget your face
as we drove away
we did still get together
even in high school
a lot of my guy friends
though you were oh so cool
but after graduation
we drifted far apart
we both got married
making a brand new start
often I would wonder
if I'd see you again someday
wonder if you'd remember
all the times we used to play
but then I heard the news
of how you took your life
I don't know why you thought
nothing good could come from strife
I feel party to blame
I wish we'd stayed in touch
I wish I'd been able to see you
I miss you very much
my childhood feels tainted
you held such a special place
now the memories I have
are laced with painful taste
you weren't able to find the peace
you obviously needed here
I only hope you find it now
Rest In Peace my dear.

The Leak
by yamikakyuu

I think, but it does not stay
because the faucet in my brain
drains my memories from my head.
They gather with my tears
which flow from all the years of
disappointment, lies and craziness.
I start feeling jaded, unappreciated
while waiting for the stars above
to slowly die away.
The moon casts a frown
while she looks down onto
what her soft glow illuminates.
The gentle light pierces down
through the depths of my stubborn soul.
It asks,why is it I who has to find
the line of silver of the cloud in the sky.
Shadows of thought dance around
I cannot see them, they make no sound.
My mind is bruised, it's pale and weak.
My mind is empty, I must fix this leak.

Wrote this in college for my Creative Writing class I had.  Wrote it at 2am, I remember not being able to sleep and finally getting up and this just came out.  Weird how stuff happens like that XD  This also won POTW 8 on AO way back in the day.  POTW = Poem of the Week.

I sit. I stare.
I think. I care.
Probably a bit too much.
I cant explain why
but this feeling inside
it just wont go away.
I watch. I read.
I wish. I need.
For you to understand.
But I could never say to you
why I feel the way I do
so Ill just keep it to myself.


by yamikakyuu

btw no I havent forgotten about the other GH ficts that were requested and yes I will finish The Message....one day :/

Endless Child
by YamiKakyuu

Endless child do you not sing
of cares in life and what they bring?
Blind to the sodomy of earth and sky
you twirl with wind as life goes by.
In the fields of innocent laughter,
paying no attention to the sorrows ever after.

Endless child do you not dance
without worries of youth, death or chance?
Sun kissed down from heaven above
to shield your eyes from absent love.
Naïve youth still happy with life
never expecting the stabbing knife.

Of what life really means in all its glory.
Have you heard the entire story?
Did you skip the pages that made you cry?
Did you scream in tears asking why?
Jealous of your forgotten youth
hard to accept the forbidden truth.

Endless child do you not laugh
will all the generations of days now past?
Into the night your spirits fly
up to the stars, moon and sky.
Never looking down to see
what becomes of you and me?

Endless child do you not sing…



Ugh its 1:13am I cant sleep so what do I do...I post old poems on the net @_@. 

Poem I wrote a while ago, I find it ironic that I decided to post this today....

Ashamed
by YamiKakyuu

I'm ashamed of you
I just can't understand
how you got this far
without any kind of plan.
Moving from place to place
leeching off your friends
aren't you an adult?
I just can't comprehend
why you act this way
giving my all these lines
saying you're looking for a job
everything will be fine.
You said that you missed me
and needed a place to stay
but 5 months later still
no job, no rent, no way.
I did what I thought was right
asking you to leave
you disappoint me again
I really wanted to believe
that you had finally changed
instead you made us suffer
but what I'm really ashamed of
is that you're my own damn mother.